Skip to main content

A quick tale 21

An expense

No holidays. Rarely new clothes. New shoes can wait, old soles re-stitched. Why bother going to movies when there’s tv? Dinner always at home. Nothing wasted, everything saved. Squirreled. So that it may all be spent in one afternoon. The day the daughter gets married.

Comments

AF said…
Ammani,
Good One, that's the reality in India even today. It is in our genes and we do the same here too.


AF
saranyan said…
ammani, this happened in my own family, for my sister's wedding.

I love the way you write, short and yet thorough. keep it up :)
Vidya said…
Loved this one! A lifetime of savings is spent in 1 day for the daughter's wedding... only to hear the boys' side relatives compaining about things like 'they didnt drop us by an AC car from the railway station to marriage hall' or something like that.

Have seen a change in trend though (even if it is only a fraction of the population).. people are going for simpler and more 'in line with what we can afford' kind of weddings.

Vidya
Kika Gops said…
Thats so apt. written so short, it explains everything
Tangent said…
Well..this is true.

But the same is almost true for anything else.

A Lifetime of sweat,blood and tears for scoring an olympic gold.
A lifetime of sweat blood and education to succeed in a critical interview...and so on.
Diff. is there's life beyond this..for these people. Not so in your story.

Even so. Well written.
Ramesh said…
Awesome, i liked this tale very much.
Anonymous said…
A lifetime of blood, sweat and tears for Olympic golds or critical interviews is purely for self-serving reasons... people who slave for a lifetime and go without, for their children - well, that's sacrifice. Unnecessary to do that, in my opinion, but it happens all the time, even now. Such a pertinent quick tale, as always, Ammani!

- Shyam
PVS said…
Wonderful Ammani...a one that reflects the truth
This was lovely ammani... so true! I jus saw it happen during my wedding..!:(
Anonymous said…
Very True Ammani. Our family has gone through this.Only thing is My father had three daugthers instead of one.Imagine spending around 10 to 12 lakhs for each marriage.Whatever said and done about changing times i think certain things will never change.Infact U will just be termed arrogant and egoistic if u speak out on these issues
Me said…
every quick tale amazes me........ like every cricketer wants to play like sachin i would love to write a post like this :)
dinesh said…
How painfully true ! I like to think that the times are changing though. Like Vidya put it, a fraction has showed common sense. Can only hope the rest would follow.
Thangachee said…
Vidya.. kaalangal maaralam, aanal kalyanam nadathum vidam maaradu

A cousin of mine (the groom) wanted a simple wedding , NO janavasam,no car , no finger ring , no coat, no suit etc etc ..

He was asked to SHUT UP by his chittappas and was told NOT to act like a murpoakkuvaadi and behave like a mappillai !! huh!

Even if the bride and groom want to have a simple wedding, the junta around will always go ahead spending those 10, 11 lakhs saying "OOrru enna sollum / 4 paer enna solluva".. "enga aasaikku naanga pondroam" etc etc

Ammani, did you check your email?
shub said…
OH my God!! brilliant.
kaaju katli said…
Gosh, this bugs me no end. I hope
this changes, soon. And I really think it's up to women to make that change.

Great tale. Great insight.
virumandi said…
good one!!..oops..it is understatement...awesome is more apt!! but one question...HOW?????
Amrita said…
its easier said but to do it takes a lot of guts! i am not only talking about women but men as well, some of whom think that they can commodify themselves in the market and get high prices. As for the girl's family is concerned..sometimes it is the girl herself pestering her parents for a filmi wedding, and sometimes it is the parents who want to spend all their savings behind their daughter.
Uma said…
Ammani
Brilliant one again
Uma
IBH said…
very nice one...and when will ur recipe site be updated> waiting for some new ones...:)

hope u dont mind blogrolling ur recipe site...
dinesh said…
Amrita,

Good points. It's okay if you want your marriage to be grand and you want the special day of your life to be memorable. A distinction between celebrating the day and making it memorable for everyone and having to make sacrifices on a daily basis to get your daughter married (10 years from now) has to be made. Our previous generation, under the pretext of safeguarding traditon and culture, have failed to make this distinction. I hope we can use a little more common sense.
Vidya said…
Thangachee (I guess you're her sis :)) - you're right.. our generation is more practical but parents wont let go of tradition... it really depends on the mentality of the family..

Also, as Dinesh says, it's more important to know why you are spending - is it becoz it's the most special occasion in your life and you want to celebrate big, or is it just to satisfy relatives??? Unfortunately, in most cases, it is the latter.

That 'mappillai' and all the mariyadhai (respect) thing is so funny.. mostly guys nowadays hate it.. its weird how even the elderly have to call the maapillai 'neenga' :)
Amrita said…
hi dinesh, i absolutely agree with u, and that's what precisely i implied that as a generation we should make a difference, and try to get out of thing about being ostentatious about everything we do. but for that to happen the essential mentality of youngsters needs to undergo a change..guys should realize that an MBA degree does not mean that he can sold at a higher stake than others and a girl should realize that even if she is the only daughter (if that is the case) , it does not mean that she can drain all her parents' money behind a lavish , filmy wedding!
BridalBeer said…
I read about you on Amit Varma's blog.
You are brilliant.
Anonymous said…
and that is why we were married in the living room by the Cambridge Justice of Peace and till date I have never been able to fully enjoy myself at any desi wedding........

But I end up looking like an idiot who doesn't know how to celebrate :-).

I **really** liked this one

viji
ranganathan said…
அன்புள்ள அம்மனிக்கு,

கதையை அரைகுறையாய் முடித்தால் எப்படி?

விட்ட பணத்தை ஆறே மாதத்தில் எடுத்துவிட்டார்கள்; யு.எஸ் பச்சை அட்டையில் பசையாய் வாழும் பையன் மூலம்!

என்றும் அன்புடன்,
ரங்கநாதன்
Eroteme said…
:-) Nice piece. A trip through so many things and ... reality bites.
Have been busy for a while to visit blogs. Excellent post this. Have seen it happen so many times, its just mindboggling.
Anjali said…
short,sweet,crisp.

You May Also Like

Guest blog by Chinna Ammani

Here’s an interesting write-up by Chinna Ammani on stereotypical portrayals in Indian adverts. The opinion expressed is strong and the language uncompromising. Read at your own peril!-a

The Aiyaiyo Syndrome

These days I do what is called as a shooting supervision. When ads are filmed (with lip sync) in Tamizh, my job is to teach models their lines and rehearse with them. Most of them are from Mumbai and are non-Tamilians. So when they have to do a line in Tamil, for example "Adanaaladan Dettol ubayogikaren" (And that's why I use Dettol) , they invariably say "Aadanaladaanu naanu Detttaalu ubayogikkareanu" (Something hideous). Their exaggerated delivery of our supposed accent is all thanks to Hindi actor Mehmood. My blood pressure rises and I yell "DO NOT DO A MEHMOOD HERE. WE DO NOT SPEAK LIKE THAT".

Though their voice is dubbed later with a Tamil voice-over, I ensure that they pronounce it the non-Mehmood way. Mehmood has done this major damage to us So…

Bio-data

Married for 31 years, 2 months and 17 days
Six cups coffee a day, brewed everyday of marriage
Three meals a day,
At least two dishes cooked, each meal-time
One snack for every Sunday
Big basket of clothes ironed every Tuesday
Average 18 items of clothing washed per day
Three children
1 miscarriage
One mother-in-law suffered
900 sq metre of floor space mopped, once a day
One caesarean endured
3 chicken poxes, 2 measles, 2 fractures, 8 diarrhoeas, depression, conjunctivitis every summer, 1 tonsilitis and countless common colds and flues
1 job held for 29 years
6 hours slept every night
Sex tolerated every 2nd week
Religious rituals everyone of them, carried out
Not one of them, believed in
Lived 52 years and some
Died exhausted

Overheard, “At least she had the satisfaction of having lived for her family”


http://jikku.blogspot.com/2005/02/quick-tale-3.html#c111042815438237631

The Saturday Poem

Found this in yesterday's paper. Again, I wish I'd written it.

-a

Now and Then

"Now that I'm fifty-seven",
My mother used to say,
"Why should I waste a minute?
Why should I waste a day

Doing the things I ought to
Simply because I should?
Now that I'm fifty-seven
I'm done with that for good."

But now and then I'd catch her
Trapped in some thankless chore
Just as she might have been at
Fifty-three or fifty-four

And I would say to her
(And I have to bite my tongue)
That if you mean to learn a skill
It's well worth starting young

And so, to make sure I'm in time
For fifty, I've begun
To do exactly as I please
Now that I'm thirty-one.

-Sophie Hannah

Lost in Post

To a little boy

It cannot be easy being you. A follow-up act to your more devilishly charming, flamboyant older brother. Before you were born, I was convinced that no child could ever take the special place your brother had come to occupy in my life. I used to argue with your father you would always be a second-born. A runner-up. A bridesmaid (or a best-man, as you turned out to be). That you could never be the prized, cherished, celebrated apple of my eye that my firstborn child was. But how easily you tore down my flimsy little conviction. The minute I saw you, I knew I was gone. What was worse, I succumbed willingly.

My fears that you would be overshadowed by your brother have proven unfounded. Over the past year, you have come into your own as a person. Your brother demands and challenges our love and attention. You, on the other hand, are much more accepting of our distractions with him. It is almost as if you understand that he is used to being the star of the show for much of his…

I ask, you write

Okay, here's the idea. I ask you a question and you write a short story explaining it. Let me give you an example.

What happened when young Padmavathi was drawing water from the well to wash her clothes, early one Margazhi morning?

Annon's story

One morning when Padmavathi was drawing water from the well, she found Pettai Rowdy # 1 Govindarajulu inside the bucket! She dropped it at once and Govindarajulu went down and down and hit the bottom of the well with a Nung sound. His upper and lower teeth fused together and since then he has been fed intravenously. Pettai Rowdy # 2, Ragothaman Iyengar, who suggested this to Govindarajulu, now rules the roost.

After marrying Padmavathi, he is inviting all of you to a water drawing ceremony at the new well they dug in their house.

Jai Ragothaman Iyengar! Jai Padmavathi! Come one, Come all!

-

Here's a question for you.

What happened that made young Meenakshi change her mind about the parrot green saree she had originally chosen and go for a …