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Voicing Silence 7

Thursday, May 19, 2005

A quick tale 21

An expense

No holidays. Rarely new clothes. New shoes can wait, old soles re-stitched. Why bother going to movies when there’s tv? Dinner always at home. Nothing wasted, everything saved. Squirreled. So that it may all be spent in one afternoon. The day the daughter gets married.

29 comments:

AF said...

Ammani,
Good One, that's the reality in India even today. It is in our genes and we do the same here too.


AF

saranyan said...

ammani, this happened in my own family, for my sister's wedding.

I love the way you write, short and yet thorough. keep it up :)

Vidya said...

Loved this one! A lifetime of savings is spent in 1 day for the daughter's wedding... only to hear the boys' side relatives compaining about things like 'they didnt drop us by an AC car from the railway station to marriage hall' or something like that.

Have seen a change in trend though (even if it is only a fraction of the population).. people are going for simpler and more 'in line with what we can afford' kind of weddings.

Vidya

Kika Gops said...

Thats so apt. written so short, it explains everything

Tangent said...

Well..this is true.

But the same is almost true for anything else.

A Lifetime of sweat,blood and tears for scoring an olympic gold.
A lifetime of sweat blood and education to succeed in a critical interview...and so on.
Diff. is there's life beyond this..for these people. Not so in your story.

Even so. Well written.

Ramesh said...

Awesome, i liked this tale very much.

Anonymous said...

A lifetime of blood, sweat and tears for Olympic golds or critical interviews is purely for self-serving reasons... people who slave for a lifetime and go without, for their children - well, that's sacrifice. Unnecessary to do that, in my opinion, but it happens all the time, even now. Such a pertinent quick tale, as always, Ammani!

- Shyam

PVS said...

Wonderful Ammani...a one that reflects the truth

Nithya Swaminathan said...

This was lovely ammani... so true! I jus saw it happen during my wedding..!:(

Anonymous said...

Very True Ammani. Our family has gone through this.Only thing is My father had three daugthers instead of one.Imagine spending around 10 to 12 lakhs for each marriage.Whatever said and done about changing times i think certain things will never change.Infact U will just be termed arrogant and egoistic if u speak out on these issues

Me said...

every quick tale amazes me........ like every cricketer wants to play like sachin i would love to write a post like this :)

dinesh said...

How painfully true ! I like to think that the times are changing though. Like Vidya put it, a fraction has showed common sense. Can only hope the rest would follow.

Thangachee said...

Vidya.. kaalangal maaralam, aanal kalyanam nadathum vidam maaradu

A cousin of mine (the groom) wanted a simple wedding , NO janavasam,no car , no finger ring , no coat, no suit etc etc ..

He was asked to SHUT UP by his chittappas and was told NOT to act like a murpoakkuvaadi and behave like a mappillai !! huh!

Even if the bride and groom want to have a simple wedding, the junta around will always go ahead spending those 10, 11 lakhs saying "OOrru enna sollum / 4 paer enna solluva".. "enga aasaikku naanga pondroam" etc etc

Ammani, did you check your email?

shub said...

OH my God!! brilliant.

kaaju katli said...

Gosh, this bugs me no end. I hope
this changes, soon. And I really think it's up to women to make that change.

Great tale. Great insight.

None said...

good un!

virumandi said...

good one!!..oops..it is understatement...awesome is more apt!! but one question...HOW?????

Amrita said...

its easier said but to do it takes a lot of guts! i am not only talking about women but men as well, some of whom think that they can commodify themselves in the market and get high prices. As for the girl's family is concerned..sometimes it is the girl herself pestering her parents for a filmi wedding, and sometimes it is the parents who want to spend all their savings behind their daughter.

Uma said...

Ammani
Brilliant one again
Uma

IBH said...

very nice one...and when will ur recipe site be updated> waiting for some new ones...:)

hope u dont mind blogrolling ur recipe site...

dinesh said...

Amrita,

Good points. It's okay if you want your marriage to be grand and you want the special day of your life to be memorable. A distinction between celebrating the day and making it memorable for everyone and having to make sacrifices on a daily basis to get your daughter married (10 years from now) has to be made. Our previous generation, under the pretext of safeguarding traditon and culture, have failed to make this distinction. I hope we can use a little more common sense.

Vidya said...

Thangachee (I guess you're her sis :)) - you're right.. our generation is more practical but parents wont let go of tradition... it really depends on the mentality of the family..

Also, as Dinesh says, it's more important to know why you are spending - is it becoz it's the most special occasion in your life and you want to celebrate big, or is it just to satisfy relatives??? Unfortunately, in most cases, it is the latter.

That 'mappillai' and all the mariyadhai (respect) thing is so funny.. mostly guys nowadays hate it.. its weird how even the elderly have to call the maapillai 'neenga' :)

Amrita said...

hi dinesh, i absolutely agree with u, and that's what precisely i implied that as a generation we should make a difference, and try to get out of thing about being ostentatious about everything we do. but for that to happen the essential mentality of youngsters needs to undergo a change..guys should realize that an MBA degree does not mean that he can sold at a higher stake than others and a girl should realize that even if she is the only daughter (if that is the case) , it does not mean that she can drain all her parents' money behind a lavish , filmy wedding!

BridalBeer said...

I read about you on Amit Varma's blog.
You are brilliant.

Anonymous said...

and that is why we were married in the living room by the Cambridge Justice of Peace and till date I have never been able to fully enjoy myself at any desi wedding........

But I end up looking like an idiot who doesn't know how to celebrate :-).

I **really** liked this one

viji

ranganathan said...

அன்புள்ள அம்மனிக்கு,

கதையை அரைகுறையாய் முடித்தால் எப்படி?

விட்ட பணத்தை ஆறே மாதத்தில் எடுத்துவிட்டார்கள்; யு.எஸ் பச்சை அட்டையில் பசையாய் வாழும் பையன் மூலம்!

என்றும் அன்புடன்,
ரங்கநாதன்

Eroteme said...

:-) Nice piece. A trip through so many things and ... reality bites.

The Last Blogger said...

Have been busy for a while to visit blogs. Excellent post this. Have seen it happen so many times, its just mindboggling.

Anjali said...

short,sweet,crisp.