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Guest Blog from Chinna Ammani


It's awards time and after extensive consultation with the industry experts, beloved Chinna Ammani and her jury of one (including herself) has come up with the first ever blog awards for the Tamil TV industry. A word of caution, if you don't watch Tamil TV, skip this one. But if you do, behold! Here come the Ammies!!



Best actors: Vijai Aadiraj and Chetan for their excessive over acting.

Best actresses: Devayani, Suganya and the Sati Savithris of Indiya Tollaikaatchi

Best dressed award:
1. All the வில்லிs with a thilagam as tall as LIC (not Narasimhan, the building) and ஜகஜக பட்டுப் புடவை walking down in பயங்கர வெயில் in their பங்களா lawn (only lawn because shooting INSIDE பங்களா is expensive, you see)
2. All lawyers perpetually in black coats and white collars. Even while at home. Even if you woke them up at midnight!

Best நானும் இருக்கேன், நானும் இருக்கேன் industry-இல் award : LIC Narasimhan

Best dialogue - jointly awarded to "சிறுக்க்க்க்க்க்க்க்க்க்க்க்க்க்கீஈஈஇ..." and "Keep trying, keep on trying.. better luck next time too" (from Pepsi Ungal Choice).

Please note : The opening lines of all DD dramas "பார்வதீ,பார்வதி...
(கௌசல்யா சுப்ரஜா ராம பூர்வா playing in the background)
நம்ம பொண்ணு சீதாவ இன்னிக்கு சாயங்காலம் பொண்ணு பாக்க வர்றாங்க..."
came close but took voluntary retirement this year since this dialogue has been winning for years now.

Best signoff line(s): SUNTV Top 10 : for its innovative சம்பந்தா சம்பந்தமில்லாத "மஜா-கூஜா","கஜினி-காலி நீ", "சந்திரமுகி-சந்திரமண்டலம்","mumbai express - late arrival"

Best dubbing artiste - Jeya Geetha for not making a single attempt in changing her tone and thus maintaining the same voice for Kowsalya, Deivayani , Metti Oli Gayathri and others...with the same dialogue "வாழ்க்கைங்கிற சக்கரத்துக்கு மனைவி ஒரு அச்சாணி மாதிரி" in all serials.

Jeya geetha's aunt Anuradha (who dubs for Khushboo) came very close but her engleees language (like the tamizhised "veee vill go to the meetings tomaaroow") was tooo good that we couldn't categorize it under tamizh awards

Best art direction - jointly awarded to DD drama Props team for having cane sofa sets in mythological dramas and National award winner Thotta Tharani for using the same house, same office , same file, same flover vaas, same poo , same scenery foto frame for all AVM serials.

Best (continuing) life time irritation - all of K. Balachander's heroines who wink or widen their eyes in innocence or oodufy a stray strand of hair from their forehead. It's supposed to endear them to us but ஆனால் உவவே.....

Best cookery show - SAAPIDA VAANGA - for presenter Vasanth's (of Vasanth & Co) killer opening line "வாங்கம்மா முளகா பஜ்ஜி...வாங்கம்மா உருளைக்கிழங்கு பாயிஸம்..."

Best life time achievement - Kalthoon Tilakji and Shanmugasundaram (for their continuous and sincere efforts in imitating Sivaji Ganesan in their dialaak delivery , baadi language etc)

Best re-re-re-runner : All of Vijay TV's films / serials/ shows which enjoy a silver jubilee run on Vijay TV alone

Best imitator : Maggaalakshmi on Jaya tv's live request show trying to do a Pepsi Uma by saying things like"உங்களுக்கு ரெண்டு வயசுல குழந்தை இருக்கா? ச்சோஓஓஓஒ ச்ச்ச்ச்ச்வீட்...அப்ப்றம் Sunday எல்லாம் எப்படி போயிண்டிருக்கு?"

Update

Best loyalty award : Kavithalaya Krishnan - 25 years of குண்டு சட்டியில் குதிர ஓட்டfying

Best name : 'Telephone Mani' , 'Typist Gopu' ,'Vellai Subbaiya' and 'Karuppu Subaiya' were among the several nominees but none came close to KALAIMAMANI PASI SATHYA - she not just added her debut film before her name but also the coveted (!) Kalaimamani award before that. We've (by 'we' I mean I) learnt from reliable sources that Omakucchi Narasimhan has made his umpteenth trip to Poes Garden, lobbying for the prestigious award but has returned disappointed

Chinnathirai Chitra award : Runner up is Revathy Sankaran who sings at the drop of a tumbler on her cookery show with சம்பந்தா சம்பந்தமில்லாத lines like "ஹே பொண்ணே பல்லாங்குழி ஆட வாரியா?"

But the clear winner as voted by the puliya mara panchayat was Paravai Munimma. She sings even while boiling water. Here's a sample from her cookery show.

தண்ணி தளைக்கயில
துளசி-இலய போட்டேனே
ஆறிப் போன தண்ணீர
அம்புட்டும் குடிச்ச ஆச மச்சான்

Needless to say, we're (by 'we', I mean I) still reeling under the attack!

Comments

Kaps said…
good one! can't relate to some of it as I don't watch mega serials.

Why no awards for the presentation style of SUN News, T S Ranganathan of Sapthaswarangal shame.
Anonymous said…
ellam 2 matham India payanathin effect....:)

nalla pattu mami kaila saptu...gomathi mami ladda norukittu..TV parthutu ensoi pannirkinga...

good 4 u
LOL! You watch SO much TV, including DD?!!!! must be one hell of a patient lady!:D

the latest irritation that jus wins hand down over everything else is Meena in that live tambola show... she and her konji konji pesa try pannaradhu, yuck!
Ammani...that was an incredibly funny post !!! I'm one of those poor souls who grew up watching DD :( (since the cruel souls at home thought cable network was taboo) and reading your post,jus brought memories flooding back.Bless your sense of humour !!!
charu said…
I dont know about the awards (haven't read the post yet) but I loooovvve the idukki image on top - beats the filmfare lady hands down :))
anni said…
very hillarious one.
I think the same red color phone is used in DD programs even now ........
Perfect antidote for early morning pms. Have given up all plans to run over annoying linda in the next cubicle! Vazhga tamizh tv
Shyam said…
Ammani, to think I couldnt relate to about 40% of this post but the rest still had me grinning like a maniac - while telling people at work that no, my face hadnt frozen that way :)
Shyam said…
PS. The idukki is FANTASTIC! If I were you, I'd copyright it - it's just brilliant, brilliant brilliant! I mean, you can imagine it to be a caricature of a ramp model, and yet it's only an idukki. :)
Sriram said…
LOL.. how do you get so much time to watch these shows? Awesome though.. me still ROTFL, especially after the Paravai Muniyamma part!!
Kalthoon Tilakji said…
Nanddddreeeeeeeeeee.. for the avaaard...
..anda kalaathula ,shivaji saar 6 mani kaal-sheetttukku 5 manikkeee vanduduvaar..
[sorry , but it is my pazhakkam to drag Sivaji saar's name and my one film old malarum ninaivugal in yevery speech.. ]
nandreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....
Deepa said…
Chinna ammani vaazhga. Ungal vote ammani key.
Einsteinophile said…
Niiiiccce listing!! :)
lenscrafter said…
Ammani/ C.Ammani, rather enjyoable, but please provide a shortened version for non-tamil-serial-watchers :)
Kalthoon tilakji said…
Lenscrafter,

TV-la ororu serial-um 700 + episodes pogumbodu, adukkaana awards-a shorten pannitta ulagam engala tappa nenaikkada? yoschu-p-paaru
AUGUSTBORN said…
Really funny...For a brief moment there i wished i watched tamil serials so i could laugh harder...but luckily sanity prevailed...

Kudos to the "Ammi" academy..for being able to sit through the serials...and actually vote on them...
aruna said…
Wonderful thanglish posting!..I always read all your short tales and had become a regular visitor to your site. This award posting brought some memories back ...and its true abt the names paarvathi, seetha etc.,.... havent realised it until you mentioned..
Guevara G said…
Time for chinnaammani.blogspot.com....to liven things up from the serious and some times funny and frivulous Ammani
None said…
hello?!

how come you be watching much TV ya, that too damil? good one!

cheers1
ramya
நல்லாவே தமிழ் யூனிகோடுலே போடக் கற்றுக் கொண்டுவிட்டீங்க. இனிமே, உங்கள் பதிவு ஒரே அமர்க்களம்தான் போங்க :-) அப்படியே, முழுத் தமிழ் பதிவும் ஆரம்பிச்சாச்சா?

Translation for the uninitiated :-)

Good. you have learnt the art of posting in Tamil in unicode. Your posts are going to be more lively :-)

P.S: I don't think English is doing justice to what I have said in Tamil. Anybody out there could bring the exact flavour in English ? - just kidding... :-)
vetty said…
Hilarious. Beautifully written.

How about a consolation prize/ special mention for HAMAM soap, sponsors of erstwhile 'Junoon-Tamil' dubbed DD show " Sodhanai".
They had made it a point to proudly mention "Sodhanai.. Idhai Ungalukku Vazhangubavargal/ Vazhangiyavargal, HAMAM soap" before, after and in between commercial breaks for Sodhanai.

Thanks.
Ravi said…
Wow Ammani! Providing humourous comments with subtle criticism requires real skills and you have just excelled in it in this post. I am sure you put in a lot of effort and thoughts in gathering/recollecting the info. Hat off Ammani! Keep more of this genre coming.

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Married for 31 years, 2 months and 17 days
Six cups coffee a day, brewed everyday of marriage
Three meals a day,
At least two dishes cooked, each meal-time
One snack for every Sunday
Big basket of clothes ironed every Tuesday
Average 18 items of clothing washed per day
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One mother-in-law suffered
900 sq metre of floor space mopped, once a day
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3 chicken poxes, 2 measles, 2 fractures, 8 diarrhoeas, depression, conjunctivitis every summer, 1 tonsilitis and countless common colds and flues
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Overheard, “At least she had the satisfaction of having lived for her family”


http://jikku.blogspot.com/2005/02/quick-tale-3.html#c111042815438237631

The Saturday Poem

Found this in yesterday's paper. Again, I wish I'd written it.

-a

Now and Then

"Now that I'm fifty-seven",
My mother used to say,
"Why should I waste a minute?
Why should I waste a day

Doing the things I ought to
Simply because I should?
Now that I'm fifty-seven
I'm done with that for good."

But now and then I'd catch her
Trapped in some thankless chore
Just as she might have been at
Fifty-three or fifty-four

And I would say to her
(And I have to bite my tongue)
That if you mean to learn a skill
It's well worth starting young

And so, to make sure I'm in time
For fifty, I've begun
To do exactly as I please
Now that I'm thirty-one.

-Sophie Hannah

Lost in Post

To a little boy

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My fears that you would be overshadowed by your brother have proven unfounded. Over the past year, you have come into your own as a person. Your brother demands and challenges our love and attention. You, on the other hand, are much more accepting of our distractions with him. It is almost as if you understand that he is used to being the star of the show for much of his…

I ask, you write

Okay, here's the idea. I ask you a question and you write a short story explaining it. Let me give you an example.

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Annon's story

One morning when Padmavathi was drawing water from the well, she found Pettai Rowdy # 1 Govindarajulu inside the bucket! She dropped it at once and Govindarajulu went down and down and hit the bottom of the well with a Nung sound. His upper and lower teeth fused together and since then he has been fed intravenously. Pettai Rowdy # 2, Ragothaman Iyengar, who suggested this to Govindarajulu, now rules the roost.

After marrying Padmavathi, he is inviting all of you to a water drawing ceremony at the new well they dug in their house.

Jai Ragothaman Iyengar! Jai Padmavathi! Come one, Come all!

-

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