Skip to main content

A quick tale 131

A groom for Shoefiend's cousin*

What do you mean 'you don't like his personality'? You've only seen his photo!, thundered her father. How can you say you won't marry him by just looking at his PHOTO?
Have you had a look at yourself in the mirror lately?, chipped in the mother for good measure. With your looks, do you think you're going to land a film star?
You're not getting any younger. You won't have a market for long, added the grandmother who may have been referring to the wilting bunch of spinach she was cleaning.
Shoefiend's cousin sighed. And tried to decide which film star she fancied enough to want to marry.

Meanwhile in a land about 21 kms away, the young man whose photo had been the subject of the aforesaid discussion, was telling his mother about the photo she had handed him. I don't know...but she doesn't have...how shall I put it? Personality? His mother leaned across to look at the photo herself. She agreed. And then asked her son if her blouse matched her saree.

*prompted by Shoefiend's comment here . Deepa, since you asked.

Comments

WA said…
HaHa so nicely written.
Deepa said…
ha ha Thank you Ammani. I am on my way to mail my short story to you.
Taruna said…
Story of my life, with a few minor alterations!!!
Sowmya said…
why do people think of 'personality' in terms of looks? personality is so much more and most of the time not related to looks. it really pisses me off when ppl do that.
You know my thoughts on this already. As excellent as my mother's filter coffee :)
Anonymous said…
this is good.. I tell you you are consistently good.. I like that
Madhu said…
blog-hopped here....enjoyed reading ur quick tales.
tilotamma said…
Have you ever thought of doing what anand suggested - arranging a series of your shorts to evoke a particular mood or something to that effect?
Amrita said…
that was really funny and yet the humour was slightly dark...but nice one!
ashok said…
amrita..wat do u mean by dark?
Diviya said…
"You're not getting any younger. You won't have a market for long"... haven't I heard this before. I suppose families will never stop scaring people into marriage. Sell the cow before it gets too old to give milk. Right!
Pappaya Pie said…
sniff sniff...dunno if to feel better abt not being the only one or to feel worse abt the fact that i ain't teh only one. Is it like a southie phenomenon or wat...?! SOmeone said sometime back, "we southies spend too much time in the sun checking if the mangoes have turned the right shade of pale green for the pickles....it's teh sun i tell you!"
Anonymous said…
nice one

-- hurry.
hems said…
Hi

how true . but will the things ever change. Nice story
Eroteme said…
:-)
Ironic indeed...

You May Also Like

Guest blog by Chinna Ammani

Here’s an interesting write-up by Chinna Ammani on stereotypical portrayals in Indian adverts. The opinion expressed is strong and the language uncompromising. Read at your own peril!-a

The Aiyaiyo Syndrome

These days I do what is called as a shooting supervision. When ads are filmed (with lip sync) in Tamizh, my job is to teach models their lines and rehearse with them. Most of them are from Mumbai and are non-Tamilians. So when they have to do a line in Tamil, for example "Adanaaladan Dettol ubayogikaren" (And that's why I use Dettol) , they invariably say "Aadanaladaanu naanu Detttaalu ubayogikkareanu" (Something hideous). Their exaggerated delivery of our supposed accent is all thanks to Hindi actor Mehmood. My blood pressure rises and I yell "DO NOT DO A MEHMOOD HERE. WE DO NOT SPEAK LIKE THAT".

Though their voice is dubbed later with a Tamil voice-over, I ensure that they pronounce it the non-Mehmood way. Mehmood has done this major damage to us So…

Bio-data

Married for 31 years, 2 months and 17 days
Six cups coffee a day, brewed everyday of marriage
Three meals a day,
At least two dishes cooked, each meal-time
One snack for every Sunday
Big basket of clothes ironed every Tuesday
Average 18 items of clothing washed per day
Three children
1 miscarriage
One mother-in-law suffered
900 sq metre of floor space mopped, once a day
One caesarean endured
3 chicken poxes, 2 measles, 2 fractures, 8 diarrhoeas, depression, conjunctivitis every summer, 1 tonsilitis and countless common colds and flues
1 job held for 29 years
6 hours slept every night
Sex tolerated every 2nd week
Religious rituals everyone of them, carried out
Not one of them, believed in
Lived 52 years and some
Died exhausted

Overheard, “At least she had the satisfaction of having lived for her family”


http://jikku.blogspot.com/2005/02/quick-tale-3.html#c111042815438237631

The Saturday Poem

Found this in yesterday's paper. Again, I wish I'd written it.

-a

Now and Then

"Now that I'm fifty-seven",
My mother used to say,
"Why should I waste a minute?
Why should I waste a day

Doing the things I ought to
Simply because I should?
Now that I'm fifty-seven
I'm done with that for good."

But now and then I'd catch her
Trapped in some thankless chore
Just as she might have been at
Fifty-three or fifty-four

And I would say to her
(And I have to bite my tongue)
That if you mean to learn a skill
It's well worth starting young

And so, to make sure I'm in time
For fifty, I've begun
To do exactly as I please
Now that I'm thirty-one.

-Sophie Hannah

Lost in Post

To a little boy

It cannot be easy being you. A follow-up act to your more devilishly charming, flamboyant older brother. Before you were born, I was convinced that no child could ever take the special place your brother had come to occupy in my life. I used to argue with your father you would always be a second-born. A runner-up. A bridesmaid (or a best-man, as you turned out to be). That you could never be the prized, cherished, celebrated apple of my eye that my firstborn child was. But how easily you tore down my flimsy little conviction. The minute I saw you, I knew I was gone. What was worse, I succumbed willingly.

My fears that you would be overshadowed by your brother have proven unfounded. Over the past year, you have come into your own as a person. Your brother demands and challenges our love and attention. You, on the other hand, are much more accepting of our distractions with him. It is almost as if you understand that he is used to being the star of the show for much of his…

I ask, you write

Okay, here's the idea. I ask you a question and you write a short story explaining it. Let me give you an example.

What happened when young Padmavathi was drawing water from the well to wash her clothes, early one Margazhi morning?

Annon's story

One morning when Padmavathi was drawing water from the well, she found Pettai Rowdy # 1 Govindarajulu inside the bucket! She dropped it at once and Govindarajulu went down and down and hit the bottom of the well with a Nung sound. His upper and lower teeth fused together and since then he has been fed intravenously. Pettai Rowdy # 2, Ragothaman Iyengar, who suggested this to Govindarajulu, now rules the roost.

After marrying Padmavathi, he is inviting all of you to a water drawing ceremony at the new well they dug in their house.

Jai Ragothaman Iyengar! Jai Padmavathi! Come one, Come all!

-

Here's a question for you.

What happened that made young Meenakshi change her mind about the parrot green saree she had originally chosen and go for a …