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Ready, Steady, Charity - 17

Siva's words - Innocent (as in smoothie), ceiling, googly

Ammani's take


You cannot make up such stories. This happened for real. At a party a while ago, my friend Jem was trying to explain to his friend Francois what a googly is. It's the opposite of a leg break, said Jem to his uncomprehending listener, it spins from offside to leg. Francois, the cricket novice, failed to grasp any of it and ended up sighing a lot, shrugging his shoulders and rolling his eyes towards the ceiling.

A googly, persisted Jem, can also be achieved by bowling the ball as a conventional leg break, but spinning the ball further with the fingers just before it is released. And to illustrate his point, Jem grabbed a bottle of Innocent smoothie which had been left on the table and spun it around deftly. The slippery bottle escaped Jem's grasp and landed smack on someone's face. The poor girl had to be rushed to the hospital where she had to endure five stitches on her forehead. We still tease Jem about it. He proclaims he was innocent. We know it was wicked googly. Especially since he ended up marrying the girl some months later.

Ammani's take 2

Why isn't it called fruit juice anymore, wondered Andy as he sipped from a carton of Innocent smoothie. Andy had just been made redundant from his company the previous week and had broken up with his girlfriend only a few weeks earlier. Feeling freshly wounded, he demanded an explanation for all that was unacceptable with the world. What was wrong with fruit juice that they changed it to smoothie? he asked out aloud. First it was ballpark figure, then came 24x7 and now smoothie! Andy felt a large yankee conspiracy was being played out to unsettle him. He got up from his sofa and stretched towards the ceiling. Then having nothing much to do, he slumped back into the sofa and turned on the telly. Warne was bowling the ball of the century. A googly that neatly displaced Flintoff's bails. They maim our language and beat us at our own game!, Andy screamed. These bloody foreigners, he swore aiming the remote at the screen.

Comments

S said…
nethi adi...3 for the price of 1...how cool is that. Thank you thank you...and I loved the yankee conspiracy bit!! great ones all of them:-))

thanks on behalf of siva!
?! said…
I am the non-smoothie context knowing ignocent (OK, standard movie ref check) ... sorry, Siva.

Thanks, Ammani , for the opportunity.
The Visitor said…
?! - LoL - good one.
Yeah some people get buy-1-get2-free :(

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Bio-data

Married for 31 years, 2 months and 17 days
Six cups coffee a day, brewed everyday of marriage
Three meals a day,
At least two dishes cooked, each meal-time
One snack for every Sunday
Big basket of clothes ironed every Tuesday
Average 18 items of clothing washed per day
Three children
1 miscarriage
One mother-in-law suffered
900 sq metre of floor space mopped, once a day
One caesarean endured
3 chicken poxes, 2 measles, 2 fractures, 8 diarrhoeas, depression, conjunctivitis every summer, 1 tonsilitis and countless common colds and flues
1 job held for 29 years
6 hours slept every night
Sex tolerated every 2nd week
Religious rituals everyone of them, carried out
Not one of them, believed in
Lived 52 years and some
Died exhausted

Overheard, “At least she had the satisfaction of having lived for her family”


http://jikku.blogspot.com/2005/02/quick-tale-3.html#c111042815438237631

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Found this in yesterday's paper. Again, I wish I'd written it.

-a

Now and Then

"Now that I'm fifty-seven",
My mother used to say,
"Why should I waste a minute?
Why should I waste a day

Doing the things I ought to
Simply because I should?
Now that I'm fifty-seven
I'm done with that for good."

But now and then I'd catch her
Trapped in some thankless chore
Just as she might have been at
Fifty-three or fifty-four

And I would say to her
(And I have to bite my tongue)
That if you mean to learn a skill
It's well worth starting young

And so, to make sure I'm in time
For fifty, I've begun
To do exactly as I please
Now that I'm thirty-one.

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