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Voicing Silence 7

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

A very tempting resignation letter

I, So-and-so, do hereby resign from my post as mother, food provider, eternal comforter, lost sock finder, homework helper, nappy changer, 2 am feeder, bed time story reader, Boochandi monster fighter and from my countless other avatars. I also surrender my title of ‘Best Mummy in the World’ which was so graciously handed to me this morning after a particularly hideous tantrum from my part.

My reasons of resignation are various. But the chief among them is my desperate need to regain what remains of my earlier life before the onslaught of children. It was a life filled with deliciously slothful behaviour. I could have leisurely lie-ins on Sunday mornings. I could leave home at a moment’s notice without having to pack for an apocalypse. I could hold long conversations on economics without regular and frequent interruptions from a child demanding to know if he could have credit crunch for pudding. In short, it was a golden period. And I want it back.

I am deeply aware that I have been very blessed to have been accorded my role – twice over. However, I think I’m undeserving of such goodness. I am an extremely selfish person who needs her 8 hours of undisturbed sleep and one who worries about her brain turning to mush from too much nappy changing (what do you know? the human body works in mysterious ways). I crave a role beyond that of a mother. And now that I have completed my biological task, please may I be allowed to diversify?

I take this opportunity to thank the two most important people who have made my time as a mother memorable. It was mostly fun but god, was it boring! Thank you little people for enduring me. You deserve better.

Sincerely

So-and-so

p.s. The next incumbent to the post is hereby notified that we are running low on milk and the nail cutter is missing.

14 comments:

Ree_mathi said...

OH come on ...
"we" as Children DO NOT accept ur resignation .... TOO bad !!!!

PS: I imagine my amma feeling the same way ....
PPS: and I am 25 ...he he he

PRG said...

ammani,
I empathise with you totally.

Anand said...

Super!

Arati said...

Been there! Felt it--continue to feel some versions of it still...

a continuing "Mom"

Naga Mama said...

Dear ......,

Thank you for your letter rejecting employment with us.

We have received rejections for an unusually large number reasons. With such a varied and promising spectrum of rejections from which to select, it is impossible for us to consider them all. After careful deliberation, then, and because a number of people have found us unsuitable, we regret to inform you that we are unable to accept your rejection.

Despite your outstanding qualifications and previous attempts in rejecting our employment, we find that your rejection does not meet with our requirements at this time. As a result, we will be continuing your employment for the foreseeable future.

Circumstances change and one can never know when new demands for rejection arise. Accordingly, we will keep your letter on file in case our requirements for rejection change.

Please do not regard this letter as a criticism of your qualifications in attempting to refuse our employment. I wish you the best of luck in your future attempts.

Sincerely,

[Note: This is a modification of John Kador's letter rejecting a rejection]
-Naga mama

mg said...

Hee hee, how long did the resignation last?

swarna said...

would you start a group...maybe a a club... or a party...(begging with folded arms down on my knees...please say yes)

I'll be your first and loyal life member.

inbavalli said...

Dear So-and-so,

The management wishes to inform you that since you have been instrumental in creating the organization's flagship products, you are also required to offer life-long servicing for them under your employment contract.

You may be pleased to note that your products and services may (alright, just might) eventually turn out to be your best investment, medical policy and pension fund rolled into one.

The management suggests you might as well fetch some milk and start looking for the nail-cutter.

Yours sincerely,

Laptop, football and home food addicted, life-enjoying Management

The Wandering Minstrel said...

i am very tempted to ask u to write a flashback on ur own childhood.

Premalatha said...

ROFLMAO.

love inba's rejection letter. :-)

Madura said...

:)))) ... enjoyed this one!
I remember slowly indeed very very slowly discovering the human in my mom when she used to say sentences that were a little harder for me to grasp then - they are like "but it is not a Sunday for me" ... "I never get a summer vacation" ... I atleast quickly understood that she wants a chocolate ice-cream too not just me!!! :) Later her wish for parathas were fulfilled by me during my college days! We had special paratha night outs! But probably she would have been happier with friends! :))))) ...

I have tried taking her out on vacations now - thereby somehow giving myself a right for vacations when I become a mother!!! :) But she needs her sister for company, so chiththi gracefully joins us, (because I suck so badly as shopping companion, and dressing up etc...!)

I suppose I would leave my kids at summer camp and go to hike in Kilimanjaro someday. May be I cant. My mom says, whenever she left us at granny's house during summer, she felt terrible and came back to fetch us in two days! :) ... I dont know how I would turn out ... May be carry one in my back and one in my front up my hike to Kilimanjaro!!! :)))) ...

Quakeboy said...

you just made me think for a really long time and feel good about my life/job about which I was dissatisfied all the time !

My mom works + takes care of our house... A wonder woman - all such moms are.. who we fail to recognise..

Instead of resigning why don't you put up a wish list.. resigning is not accepted !

Dennis said...

Suck it up for now.....it will be over and you will want it back in time.

umm oviya said...

maybe an annual sabbaticl in lieu of resignation will help? for me too...