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Showing posts from January, 2006

I've started so you finish - Update 3

Rubic Cube

Sandhu was 13 when she discovered the joys of exaggeration. She owed it all to the small success that she achieved when she blasted the shop owner for selling such cheap stuff, those that would come apart after the first use. The Rs. 15 lipstick had damaged her school ID card in her small kitty purse. The shop owner gave her goods worth Rs. 100 to keep her from damaging his reputation. 13 years later, Sandhu is enjoying a year's worth of free calls on her cellphone network after threatening to sue the telecom company for potential breach of privacy - all that the customer service representative asked her to confirm her birthdate. Last year, she won a $500 shopping card from Walmart after she exaggerated the amount of emotional turmoil that she had to undergo when they stopped stocking her favourite Chapstick. Her neighbourhood dealers are joining hands to get an indemnity bond signed from her in their favour. Rumour has it that she is planning to move court against them.…

I've started so you finish - Update 2

Karthik Ram

Sandhu was 13 when she discovered the joys of exaggeration. Exaggeration, in the words of her know-it-all friend and exaggeration-guru, a certain Ram, is embellishment of truth. The 'great' divide, a thin line between lying and exaggeration until that moment had remained elusive to her puny self. "Amma! I got the first mark in English", when there were at least ten students ahead of her was lying. And that is something she should never utter. In addition to the beatings/scoldings (depending on Appa's mood) there was always God's punishment to be afraid of. Her grandmother had told her many tales where Gods swooped down to earth in their winged vaahanas and blinded one with sharp instruments whenever they lied to their parents. I wonder why it took her all of 13 years to understand the difference between lying and exaggerating.


Sandhu was 13 when she discovered the joys of exaggeration. Her eyes openedup to a whole new world infront of her. Th…

I've started so you finish - Update


'Sandhu, come here' her mom shouted at the top of her voice. Sandhya's mom was very hard working. They were only two in their family. She did not know where her father lived. Her mom worked as a house maid in the nearby colony. Sandhya was sent to a convent. Her mom wanted Sandhya to be well educated. Sandhya said to her friends that her father lived abroad and her mom was a manager in a bank. She would demand for pocket money from her mother everyday just to get chocolates for her friends to make them understand that she was rich. She made sure her mom got a new pen every month. She would proudly say to her friends that her mom got her a pen just like that. She was 13 when she loved the joys of exaggeration. She never had interest in education and so quit her studies after her 12th grade. She is married now with 2 kids (twins) and a paralyzed husband and her mother still works for her and she now knows what it means to be a mother and to have a kid at the age of…

I've started so you finish


Sandhu was 13 when she discovered the joys of exaggeration.
“Ma, did you know Sujit, who always scored the highest marks? He was crying in class today because he has no friends.”
“Really?” said the mother, I thought I saw him playing cricket this afternoon. “No ma, that was after he cried. To make him happy the class played with him.”
“Ma, when can I start to wear a bra? I know Reena is wearing one, and half the class, ma, all the girls. They said their mothers gift-wrapped it for them because it was their first one.”
“Concentrate on your homework Sandhu, you have three subjects to finish before you go to bed tonight.”
The next day she told her wide-eyed classmates about her cousin’s home. “Did you know they have four servants for each member of the family? One to cook, one to clean, and the other two to just make sure everything is in order around the room. My cousin told me secretly that one also does all the class homework for her!” Her father must be rich then, replied one…

How about this?

If I gave you an opening line, would you give me the rest of the story? Let's see how this goes. The story begins with the line 'Sandhu was 13 when she discovered the joys of exaggeration.' See if you can spin the rest of the story in about 200-300 words. More if you need it. Send it to ammania@
Will post the stories next week. Ta!

A quick tale 106


She sits slumped in front of her telly, this woman whose name I forget, wondering why she has never won a prize. She casts her mind back to all the lottery and raffle tickets she has ever bought, all the coupons ever filled out and all the scratch cards ever scraped. And yet, she thinks to herself, the results have always been the same. Nothing. Better luck next time. Sorry. She sighs audibly, picks up the remote control and flips channels. Perhaps, it has something to do with my zodiac. May be it’s the star I was born under. Does one have to have a lucky mole or something? she wonders. Even Tracy next door told me that she won a fridge in a lucky draw. How come my name never gets drawn? she asks herself.

She changes channel once again. And lands on a show that is giving away a brand new car as a prize. To win, viewers need to call and answer a very simple question. She picks up the phone, dials the number and answers ‘America’ into the recording machine. She leaves her details an…

A quick tale 105

Yesterday, around tea time

A woman is reading a newspaper in a cafe. She has just come across a news item which claims that studies have revealed that 53% of all married men have thought about infidelity at some point in their marriage. Why, the woman realises with a start, that's nearly every other married man! Which means, she considers, it could be this man here, that one there and this chubby old man sitting across the room from me and staring at my boobs lustfully.

A quick tale 104

Coffee with strangers

She has gone out for coffee with some people she does not know very well. Talk turns to a popular author and his works. She has never heard of him nor read any of his books. They evidently love him and are analysing his style, content and the multiple layers his books work on.
One of them turns to her and wonders what she thinks of the author. She loves him, of course! However, she was a little flummoxed by the way his last book ended. Most unsatisfactory, she felt. They all nod in agreement. She looks at her watch and suddenly remembers that she has an appointment to keep. Will they excuse her please? She’s terribly sorry she can’t stay and continue with the discussion. Why, of course! She has their numbers and will definitely call. And then, she slips out hurriedly. If you saw her leaving, you'd think she really had an appointment to keep.

A quick tale 103

Nostalgia need not be exciting

It occurs to you like a bolt of lightning. You wish to call your sister and share the news with her straightaway. But she lives in a different country and it's an unsocial hour right now where she lives. Still, you quickly finish your shower, hastily get dressed, run down to the phone and dial the 15 digits that make up her telephone number.
'Hello...'' goes the other end.
"Hi, it's me. Do you remember this tune?', you ask, humming the melody that has been making its round in your head all night.
You hum some more. 'Remember?'
You repeat the hum. 'Now?'
'Yeah', she says finally, 'it's the opening music from that old radio show, no? What about it?'
'Nothing. I just wanted to see if you remembered it', you say slightly annoyed that she isn't half as excited as you were when you remembered an old tune from your childhood.

Guest Blog from Chinna Ammani

It's awards time and after extensive consultation with the industry experts, beloved Chinna Ammani and her jury of one (including herself) has come up with the first ever blog awards for the Tamil TV industry. A word of caution, if you don't watch Tamil TV, skip this one. But if you do, behold! Here come the Ammies!!

Best actors: Vijai Aadiraj and Chetan for their excessive over acting.

Best actresses: Devayani, Suganya and the Sati Savithris of Indiya Tollaikaatchi

Best dressed award:
1. All the வில்லிs with a thilagam as tall as LIC (not Narasimhan, the building) and ஜகஜக பட்டுப் புடவை walking down in பயங்கர வெயில் in their பங்களா lawn (only lawn because shooting INSIDE பங்களா is expensive, you see)
2. All lawyers perpetually in black coats and white collars. Even while at home. Even if you woke them up at midnight!

Best நானும் இருக்கேன், நானும் இருக்கேன் industry-இல் award : LIC Narasimhan

Best dialogue - jointly awarded to "சிறுக்க்க்க்க்க்க்க்க்க்க்க்க்க்கீஈஈஇ..." and …

A contest

This could be fun. Play the audio clip below and try to identify the tamil song my son's singing. It's a recent hit song and if you listen closely, you'll hear me mention it at the start of the clip. Go on, give it a go.

That Michael Jackson-like 'oww!' after the first line is his own improvisation. Okay, I may have had a hand in that. But full credit for teaching him the song goes to someone else. You know who you are. Thanks-di!

A quick tale 102

A real story

You see him at a distance. Running to catch the bus that you're sitting in and peering out of. His strides are long and he is holding up his hand to signal to the driver to wait for him. The bus driver hasn't noticed him and gets ready to move out of the bus stop. He checks his rear view mirror and then his side mirror and gently slides into first gear. The noise reminds you of a singer clearing his throat before launching into a song. But this is no time for ornamental similies. You look out at the buscatcher again. He has picked up speed and is hurtling towards the bus. At this rate, you estimate, he should be able to make it. But just about.

The driver is now checking the road to see if he can pull out. A car is blocking his path. This should give the runner precious seconds he so badly needs, you think. C'mon lad, you mentally cheer, you can do it! There's not far to go! The runner puts in all his effort for one final burst. You pray to the Gods, invokin…