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Voicing Silence 7

Thursday, July 14, 2005

A quick tale 48

Specifics

‘Modern with traditional values’ – he would write in the matrimonial column, about the wife he wants. Ask him what he means by that and he’d say ‘She should wear jeans but not shorts. Should pour me a drink but not have a sip herself. Should know cooking. Using a microwave. Can have short hair but not too short. Should go to work but not in a demanding career.’ Roughly, this would be his answer. And he will get a wife who meets his criteria.

43 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nice one as usual. But, did He get one?

D Govardan

shyam said...

Oh yeah, you've absolutely got the essence of "modern with traditional values". Grrr... these double standards...!

virumandi said...

appiddi podu..neraiya makkalai..nikka vachu..arancha madiri irrunduchu!!!

kaaju katli said...

:-) Sounds like all the briefs we get from clients to target a traditional woman with a modern outlook!

Thangachee said...

Govardan, yes he did.. in the air tel ad!

Anonymous said...

oops i meant ariel!

Ms Ch said...

"Modern with traditional values" ... you got it to the dot. However, I didn't get the last sentence.

Anonymous said...

he will sure get one, coz most women call themselves 'modern with traditional values'..... Ammani,sadly.. even after living in a 'developed country' like the USA.....desi women dont show any resitance to such double standards of men.

--
TLB

Anonymous said...

Guess it is both ways. That is what I got from Ammani's last line - that double standards are in both men & women! It is just that men make it explicit.

TJ said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
TJ said...

And they lived happily ever after...
****************************
i dont find any double standards in "modern with traditional values.", if it translates to "assimilating into the society, preserving the individuality"[unlike requirements of our QT48 hero]. I have just put a post on assimilating into society.

Doing sandhyavandhanam before attending my Salsa classes seems perfectly ok in my daily schedule.

Anonymous said...

Awesome..
aptly said, BTW Ammani please enable Anonymous to post in your comment section. In some of your post its disabled. Keep going...
Siva

Nair said...

The post asusual is awesome... Call it double standards.. Call it atrocious demands, but these are the needs of many a pseudo upper middle class bachelors (read software engineer a**h*les).. They want the upper class life with the middle class values!! They like a girl who goes to the discotheques but only dance with you ;-)

The ramblings of a shoe fiend said...

I wrote a commercial for a pickle once with a woman like this as the protagonist. The stylist on the shoot insisted on her wearing badly cut kurties with culottes and insisted that that's what such modern+traditional women wore. I had nightmares about that dress for weeks

Lost in trance... said...

hellooo??? y the chauvinistic undertone all of a sudden? there is a thin line to tread between being sarcastic and chauvinistic. and careless generalizations are a shortcut to it. though the original note deserves a benefit of doubt, comments like "those software engineer a**h*les" are asinine. get a life! hafto agree with TJ, as times change ppl change, for good or bad. y is it such a complex thing for us to comprehend? maybe we are all stuck in our confined comfort zones. i'm saddened.

NaiKutti said...

a good one... and it would so happen that the wife he got would have had the same expectations "modern with traditional values"... and as some one mentioned no double standards here... a mix of old and the young generation... its the face of the rising upper middle class indian society... and 20 years down the line it would just be modern... no traditional values...

AF said...

Nice One Ammani..

None said...

so true. can't help thinking how glad i should be that i'm not in that loop... :)

cheers!
ramya

Anonymous said...

Ha ha. So true. Although I can't really blame the guys for that and wouldn't call it double standards per se .. we are at an age where we are reasonably modern but yet do cherish some of the traditional values. I think these ads seem far better than the ones that read like this -'should be tall,slim and very fair with good features. ' :)

Vidya

Anonymous said...

TJ,Karthik et al

its not just sandhya vandanam with salsa

to give a female equivalent would be wanting a husband who shares all chores since both work.
Someone who is understanding, sensitive, opens doors, brings flowers etc but should be in a better job and earn more than her if she needs to respect him

TJ that should have been your rejoinder ;-)

i_f

Yasir Ali said...

Plain pragmatism. What's wrong in been true to oneself. Cultural and Religious dispositions are a part of who we are. Modernity does not require giving that up.

BridalBeer said...

Today an arranged marriage maybe in-law (Boy's dad) asked me if i knew how to wear a sari. My dad says no but she only wears salwar-kurtas; hardly ever jeans. His dad said good but for all traditions we in India wear Sari Only na.
I know this is unrelated to your post. But- really!!

Phoenix said...

Mordern Girl with traditional values she would say, by that she would mean having a pinnal while wearing the jean, wearing a jean though it would nt fit her well, would go to cocktail party and ask for an orange juice, go to barbeque party and roast tomatoes, will wear a bindi that one can hardly see.....she would eventually get a husband who is modern guy with traditional values....

Sorry couldnt help being sarcastic after reading your post..

Ganesh said...

phoenix
i like that.
whats going on is nice cultural values has been labelled as orthodox outdated and old now thats sad.
both boys and girls are like that, dont pinpoint boys alone.
Some of the guys I met said, the girls are putting more demand just a boy would, there is nothing wrong there.
Just don't blame the guys alone :)

sumandatta said...

this my first visit to this page. excellent work here. it's haiku in prose. good work!

sathyus said...

ammani.. i know how taht feels.. indian society is so full of contradictions . at the same time...maybe we cant generalise this?

thennavan said...

One small correction: I DON'T DRINK.

With the plethora of matrimonial ads where I see girls who themselves drink, will I get a girl who matches MY criteria that she should not drink like I am?

:-)

Shiva said...

I dont agree to Ammani's interpretation of "Modern with tradtional values". It means a lot like - to wear jeans, but be able to celebrate Navarathiri or Deepavali; should be a social animal but not indulge or let the family indulge in alcohol; Should love to party but also be able to manage guests at home; Should go to work and also balance a family - so lets put things into perspective before becoming just sarcastic... and I believe the vice versa requirements also mean the same & deserve merit..

ranganathan said...

அன்புள்ள அம்மனி அவர்களுக்கு,

இதற்குக் கடுமையாய் என்னால் மறுப்பு தெரிவிக்க முடியும். ஆனால், ஒரு தவறை மற்றொரு தவறால் நியாயப்படுத்த முடியாது என்பதால்...........அடங்கிப் போகிறேன்.

வாசகர்களின் நினைவாற்றல் மீது உங்களுக்கு எத்தனை நம்பிக்கை? குயிக் டேல் 30 தங்கள் கைவண்ணத்தால் மீண்டும் உயிர்த்தெழுந்து 48-ய் உருமாறியிருக்கிறது.

ஓ.......ஜென் ஜுடாயிஸம்தான் குயிக் டேல் 45?
(do not wish for perfect health or a life without problems. what would you talk about?)

என்னவாயிருந்தாலும், விரைவில் எட்டப்போகும் அரை சதத்துக்கு அட்வான்ஸ் வாழ்த்துக்கள்!

என்றும் அன்புடன்,
ரங்கநாதன்

Anonymous said...

This something absurd and it's a kind of generalization that everybody makes. I would say, be it a boy or a girl, the fault is at both the sexes.

B a l a j i said...

Manal Kayiru padam madhiri irukku

Stone said...

it is a multi-facet world.

Sujatha said...

Woh...Nice post.Frankly tellin enjoyed readin the comments more than the post esp the "Sandhya Vandhanam with Salsa". Ammani I'm a new to your blog but really enjoyed readinall your posts esp the QTs. Ur writing reminds me of R K Narayan, the flair of expressin ordinary stuff so beautifully.

Sujatha said...

Woh...Nice post.Frankly tellin, enjoyed readin the comments more than the post esp the "Sandhya Vandhanam with Salsa". Ammani I'm new to your blog but really enjoyed readin all your posts esp the QTs. Ur writing reminds me of R K Narayan, the flair of expressin ordinary stuff so beautifully.

Gangadhar said...

Good one,Ammani!!

Aravind said...

True, society still is male dominated. On the other hand, what do you think the women want in their future husbands..i mean typically not ideally?

Shankar said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mukesh said...

yes , it shows the hypocrisy of today's youth...in other words today--one wants a girlfriend in jeans, but wife in a salvar kurta.

Mythili said...

hi Ammani,
U have been called "the queen of quick tales" in the sunday magazine of indian express(chennai edition)!it features links to ur blogs.
Congrats.

Minal said...

Hi Ammani,

I left a comment on one of your
archives last time:-)
Chanced upon your blog and totally hooked onto your "quick tales"

Keep them coming:-)

See ya

Baejaar said...

Couldnt help smiling. I have seen the same in my colleagues some of whom got married recently and some others who are looking for prospective spouse. Its true, very true.

TJ said...

Here is the link for IE reference on QTs
http://www.newindpress.com/sunday/sundayitems.asp?id=SEU20050714092118&eTitle=Utilities&rLink=0

Raju said...

Whats wrong with that. What you call as "double standards", I call it as being smart to adjust to the time at the same time keeping up with our tradition.