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Voicing Silence 7

Friday, July 01, 2005

Rules for her

She had to be like a piece of wood. Who must not feel sensual or sexy. Or erotic. Or have dreams. Or fantasies. Nothing allowed. She was to remain dormant. Her legs shut tight. Her mind padlocked.
Until her husband touched her awake.
And rolled on top of her. Never asking what she wanted. Only doing. For she must not feel sensual or sexy or erotic. No, not allowed.

26 comments:

RS said...

And harden her heart, when he hurts her by his carelessness! I would in fact say - Be a stone. Wood still has a 'heart', stone doesn't.

Very good one Ammani

Übermaniam said...

next?

Balakumar said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Balakumar said...

Miserable! Your writing brought to mind the scene from the movie 'Fire'. It is a shame that this happens in real life too! :(

As long as sons are groomed to be dominant and overbearing and moms teach their daughters to be dutiful and selfless, this stigma will continue to grow.

More the reason for sex education in schools. At least the kids will be exposed to different thoughts and not be aligned with a fixed dogma. And learn to treat each other with respect.

Ms Ch said...

Over the years, she was convinced that was the "righteous" way to be.... and when her daughter-in-law casually held her son's hand, she pulled her aside and chided her.

Ms Ch said...

Ammani, thanks for blogging! I have enjoyed all of your QTs.

Love that pic of you with your son. He is so cute! He has your eyes!

Chitra

Prabhu said...

arent these a thing of the past?
i believe so. its still a taboo to talk about them though.

ranganathan said...

அன்புள்ள அம்மனி அவர்களுக்கு,

ஆண்களை 'இறக்கி' எழுதும் கருத்துக்களை உங்கள் எழுத்தில் (எண்ணங்களில்?) காணும்போது எனக்கு வலிக்கத்தான் செய்கிறது.

இது நான் ஆண் என்பதாலா? இல்லை மனிதன் என்பதாலா?

என்றும் அன்புடன்,
ரங்கநாதன்

Kika Gops said...

Ammani,I tried pay pal link available in project why site, but it shows some error. Please clarify and let me know whom to address and how to pay for this organisation

AF said...

Ammani! WOW! AWESOME!. No one can beat you in the QT....

Can you kindly check my blog and let me know what you think.

AF

AF said...

Thanks Ammani.

Lost in trance... said...

its soon changing though. a bleak picture, but then we must be careful of what we wish for.

hari said...

You are so very right Ammani. This is one of the main reasons of divorces these days with economically independent women asserting their rights.

Gangadhar said...

Very nice one Ammani..

jayanti said...

ammani, she is very commonly and easily found around.....truly written

Ganesh said...

ammani

Thanks for dropping by.
once when I visited NY, there was this guy peforming some magic show on the road side,he was saying Indian couple kissing each other is the rarest thing to see.
There are quite a few desi men who are like that.

Chenthil said...

Hari, do you realise the meaning of what you have written? That is the most MCP thing I have read this year. Is it not enough for you to portray your skewed views in your site? Why should you carry your views all over the blogosphere.

So "economically independent women asserting their rights" are reason for the raise in divorces, the men are not to blame. What is your problem with women asserting their rights Hari, still stuck up in the 1900s mentality, aren't you?

Sorry Ammani, but couldn't let that go.

AR said...

While what you have said maybe true in many cases, I think things are changing in many familes, definitely changing, at that too at a progressively higher rate.

virumandi said...

'kaatru enna vaeli..kadalukku enna mudi........mangai ullam pongum podhu velangugal yaedhu!!??

Shyam said...

Ammani - bang on target as usual with this quick tale.

And Hari, I cant believe you meant your comment the way it sounds. Would you really rather women stayed financially dependent on abusive/indifferent men just to keep the divorce rates down???

navin said...

Apologies for swerving away from the current topic.

I made a post on Ilayarajas latest CD'Thiruvasagam in Symphony', ..an alternate perspective

http://www.blogontheweb.com/navin

Pls take a look. I would value your comments on the same.

Narayanan Venkitu said...

You are talking about 1920.! Not now......atleast not that I know of.!!

thennavan said...

If we take into account the way movies and ad films are made these days (eg. RMKV - unga paiyanai enakku rombha pidichchirukku, kalyaanam pannikkalaamaa?), we would be wondering what is the disconnect here.

:-)

perspective said...

I agree ammani... that's this is the life story of many women in India... women educated and uneducated....
And i feel sad...

A young girl
19 years old
studying hotel management
to be married to a man who loved her
she didnt love him
family said marry him
she married
second day of marriage
she secretly in the midst of the
hotel management class
says "It Hurts, how can it be something wonderful" and cried!

Nithya Swaminathan said...

great one, Ammani..
a couple of QTs in between lacked the punch... but this one rocks:)

Sudha Gokarnesan said...

Hi ammani,

Got to know abt ur blog recently, hav been reading all ur writeups from the archives, good ones. keep 'em going. This one is true with many indian woman, sad to know tht this is happening still.