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Voicing Silence 7

Sunday, July 23, 2006

A quick tale 152

My mother's daughter

Unlike that woman, there aren't many photos of you when you were seventeen. There is one though, which I remember seeing many years ago, taken just before you got married. You are staring straight into the camera, your jaw set, your posture perfect, your will strong.

How familiar I will become with your unbending will in the years to come! Some might even say I inherited your stubborness. Do you remember how many times you and I have disowned each other? During bitter fights over inconsequential things that would escalate into raging feuds. That we would go without speaking to each other for weeks. Now when I call, we speak like old friends. You tell me about your childhood, your brothers and your sisters. Stories I never had patience for when I was young. I listen to them now, may be because I realise that I may not have forever to hear the last of them. Still, sometimes we lapse into our old ways and one of us hangs up in a huff. And then there would be silence for days. Before the phone rings again.

Growing up I never saw much of you in me. I only saw father when I looked in the mirror. But now, when I speak to my child, it's your voice I hear. I borrow your stories, I sing your songs. I improvise on your jokes. I repeat the threats I heard as a child. I am you. And I'm finally beginning to understand what it must be like to be my mother.

32 comments:

Anonymous said...

beautiful piece.

kaaju katli said...

Lovely *Hugs*

The ramblings of a shoe fiend said...

beautiful. glad you're back

Ravages said...

Beautiful

S said...

great one...
hope the sleep was good! glad to see u back!

Nee said...

Lovely.
Welcome back!

Nee

Mad Mad said...

Welcome back! Reading your post, I cannot help but wonder how much I am like my father now....

The Inquisitive Akka said...

That was a lovely quick tale!

Naga Mama said...

Good piece! Glad to see you back.

The Kid said...

Hi Ammani,

Good to see your blog back in good health. But there are things that are really beyond me and being an ardent fan would like to ask a couple of questions.

First of all, there was a different QT 151. Secondly you deleted it after maybe a mins. Thirdly and abrubtly you put your blog to sleep and tried to delete your stuff. But my mind numbing question is Why were your gone and more importantly who made you wake your blog up ?

Really glad to see you back!

-pratap

Saumya said...

The things your mind ponders when you see a cryptic message stating the blog has gone to sleep: Hmm...maybe, she is writing a book, or better yet is updating it with her novel!

Hey ...when was optimism wrong ;)

radhika said...

that was lovely ammani :-)
in fact i had a conversation with my mother recently and was thinking of writing something along the same lines!

Meera said...

I loved this one!

Deepa said...

Wow!

shyam said...

Ammani, what a LOVELY post! One of those pieces that says sooooo much in a very few words.

Anonymous said...

atleast she was lucky to realise it while her mom was alive. i was not...

f.e

p.s- glad to hv u around. don't u ever go away ;-)

What's in a name? said...

Its just awesome to read a piece like this. Ye I feel the same way as well most of the time. I behave like my mom most of the time!
Beautiful piece.

Minal said...

You are wonderful ammani. I recently moved away from india and boy I miss my mom!!!
And I know she is right when she says Minal when you have yur daughter you will understand me better...
What a nice piece...

Apy said...

wow.. that was touching...

MumbaiGirl said...

Don't mothers always say-"You will understand, when you have a child of your own?"

Anonymous said...

Oh you've said it so beautifully. Its a journey every woman goes through.

I ma glad you are back.

shakhuni said...

aha

Bishwanath Ghosh said...

So you've completed a journey and started another... They call it circle of life!

Amodini said...

Since I've had my kids I've really begun to appreciate my Mom, and your post captures the feeling very well.

blogSurya said...

I guess this is same for guys as well after they are promoted to fatherhood.
same threats,same stories,same queries,same concerns.

All is for our well being and we do the same to our kids.

Nicely formed anyway.

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screwdarulez said...

great work!!

http://screwdarulez.blogspot.com/

thanks

biotechnologist2020 said...

hi,nice blog.keep me updated

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saveindianchild said...

Latest Update: Haramzdhi's Group so called Deshi Critics or Deshi Cowered writers/blogers dirty face get exposed due to the Voice of Kush "Why 498A can't be applicable for both Mum and Dad ?".

They all get scared and lost thier Night Sleep.

As a Result they thretened to Ban the Name of Kush in thier Group otherwise they will Chop off the Balls of DC Editors/Moderators. At the end the Editor surrender in the Hand to Haramzadhi Feminist writers/blogers and Baned the Name Kush.

"#15
AamanURLAugust 4, 200606:04 AM "No prizes for guessing who is 'Baned'"


Fight between Child Killer vs Child Saver will Continue till the time all those Haramzadhi will not be behind the bar for Killing the Child/Child abuse/forcing a child to live under single parenting system.

Save Indain Child form Haramzadhi Feminist group, if you you have some social responsibility , otherwise continue your money earning business through Legal Terrorism in India.

We do not want part time Fathers every night basis...

tin205 said...

It is one very touchy piece. It is very inspirational and very suitable for Mother's day or even on ordinary days. You have influenced me, big deal!

Hip Grandma said...

a good tribute!