Tuesday, November 14, 2006

I ask, you write 9

Thank you for all the fantastic stories and please keep them coming. Here's the next question.

It's been 14 years. But will Ananthasayanam ever get it right?

As ever, please keep your stories (Tantex or not) short and post them in the comment box. Thank you.


Anonymous said...

First time trying it out!! So please bear

I joined this big product development company as a secretary to the M.D Ananthasayanam, last week. He was an REC gold medalist of the batch of 1970, I hear. After working for English Electricals for over 20 years, he joined this US based product development company as a Manager and it has been 14 years since then, he said. When I went to the pantry for a coffee on my first day, all eyes were on me. Guys gave me a "Hey another one for him, huh?" look and gals winced at me mischievously. Hmmm, the same thing that every secretary undergoes, I thought. Later during lunch, I intentionally was sitting next to the table of women gossiping something looking at me. I being so social, went straight to their table and introduced myself. They all gave me some attention and then started talking "My mil, My sil" stories. I thought to myself, its always the same lunch talks and looks in every company. Boring!!!!
Then the M.D ushered me to his room for the third time. I went in with all due respect and he repeated all my job responsibilities for the third time during the day. What was wrong? I also noticed one other thing - He was always looking outside through the blinds. Oh, how my mind started thinking about all scenes in "Magalir mattum". The next time I turned around to look at him only to find his nose was bigger like Naasar's. It was recently that I changed those big glasses i wore like Revathy’s to contacts. So am I finally going to experience the secretary - M.D thing? That was when Mr. Ananthasayanam came near and asked me this. One more responsibility added this time!!! I know I should be doing that but how am I gonna manage the looks of others. Well, its a week now and I got used to the looks of people around every time I get in and get out of his room. But today I got rid of all this. Want to know what it was all about? The M.D could not get himself right with the E-mail system that was in use in the company. He said he could do anything else but to use this system to flag, mark with importance, send reminders to his employees and his peers. He wanted me to print all his incoming emails every time one came and mark their importance and type out all his outgoing emails with proper tags and not to discuss this with anyone out there. That was all about my frequent visits to his room. So good that he is that none of his earlier secretaries would have talked about this outside. He is gonna get that right from today. Now what did I do today? I introduced him to the voice recognition system that MS recently launched. He knows to shut down and restart though;) He could just dictate, set options all through voice. Thanks to my friend-turned-lover who works for MS who boasts about their products who talked about this in Barista yesterday. I am sure he must have been surprised when I agreed with him for once yesterday.

Anonymous said...

will try to keep it short next time:-(

Shirsha said...

It's been 14 yrs now, that I've been acquainted with Anantha and that he has been calling me 'Sirisha'. I don't think he is ever going to get 'Shirsha' right. Frankly, these things like names, if you dont get it right in the first few time, you might not get it right ever!

Unknown said...

When I got Ananthasayanam’s email, I burst out laughing! The poor devil, I thought. The quirky foibles one acquires in one’s younger years can never be overcome easily. I used to despair whenever he would offer to drive me around. I’d say, Anantha, take a right from the roundabout and he’d turn left…. Or…let us take the left exit to the Mall, I’d say and he’d immediately switch lanes and go to the extreme right…He was disoriented when it came to right and left, ‘direction dyslexic’. Otherwise a brilliant guy… He’ll get by, I thought… may end up spending more on petrol!
That was long ago. But now that he has become the captain of S S Sagarkanya and is charting his course in the vast oceans, he won’t have problems, I thought. Old habits sure die hard…In his email, Anantha tells me he is perpetually confused between starboard and port and to avoid ridicule from his crew, he has tattooed a star on his right palm…so next time he hollers out instructions, he can do so confidently…er….after a quick glance at his palm, first. Necessity IS the mother of inventiveness!!!

monu said...

Anathasayanam,he loved his name, despite what the world thought of it...
His love for his own name began with his grandfather who had a special love for narrating mythological stories....

So his Grandfather had once pointed out the image of Lord Vishnu, in the Ananthasayanam pose...

The boy since then had a fasciantion with both his name, and the pose and he always wanted to try to get his snap taken like that...

it's been fourteen years since that fateful day his grandfather had shown him the Lord Vish-in-his-Ananthasayan-pose image....

it's been fourteen years of trying for poor Ananthasayanam....he is even an eligible bachelor now...but he insists that the only photo he would ever send a potential bride would be his Ananthasayanam-pose-photo, which is yet to come out decent......

Anonymous said...

Ananthasayanam Iyengar sighed. He should have never done it. But while he was eating some rice and saththamudu, vedavalli had insisted because her parents were around. That he wear his sacred thread at least for the month they were in New York.

Now, waiting for the lift at 80 Broad, Ananthasayanam, who had just become an MD at Goldman, faced a problem he hadn’t faced for 14 years. If someone noticed him he was dead. He might never make partner.

He looked right and left, and when there was no one, opened the second button of his shirt, sneakily reached a hand inside, covering it with his tie, and pulled back his sacred thread, which had fallen like a lazy tantex bra strap over his shoulder.

Baby Vaijayanti and Puppy Manohar said...

It's been 14 years. But will Ananthasayanam ever get it right?

Ananthasayanam walked into the park absently. Alone. He always liked the park. It felt like home to him.
He remembered coming to the park for the first time, with his father.

He remembered coming there when his mom scolded him for tearing his new pants.

He remembered coming there after failing his science exam.

He remembered coming there after they told him about his father's accident.

And now he was here again. It had been 14 years since his father died and a lot had happened. He finished school.
He got into IIT Delhi. He topped his batch. He got a Master's degree and then a Doctorate from Stanford. He became the
CTO of a very successful startup company in Silicon Valley. "He make some computer things", his mother would say
proudly whenever someone asked her what her son did.

He was now in front of the mango tree. He again thought of the first time he came to the park with his father so
many years ago. He remembered how he picked up a stone and tried to hit the mangoes, and missed every time. He
remembered how his father hit a mango on his very first try.

"How did you do that, daddy?" he remembered gaping, all of 6 years old.

"One day when you're grown up, you'll also be able to do this" his father smiled at him.

He picked up a stone and threw it at the tree. He missed, again.

"It's been 14 years" he thought to himself. "When will I grow up, daddy? When will I get it right?"


Shammi said...

Ananthasayanam was well known for never giving up halfway anything he started. Whether it was a jigsaw puzzle or just a nonsense question like “How long is a piece of string?”, Ananthasayanam would stubbornly keep on and on trying to solve the puzzle or find an answer.

Unfortunately, Ananthasayanam's well-known obstinacy was matched only by his equally notorious ineptitude in all matters logical or scientific.

He’s been trying for 14 years to solve the Rubik’s Cube and probably even longer in trying to find out how long a piece of string is. Will he ever get it right?

My opinion in one word – NEVER!

monu said...

Baby Vaijayanti and Puppy Manohar , that was wonderful

Anonymous said...

First time writing!!

It's yet another busy day in the household. Looked straight at Appa after hearing Amma's nonstop rant.He's bought home the same old muthal vendaikkai!! Been hearing the same ever since I was a five year old girl.It's been 14 years.Will Ananthasayanam ever get it right? Oh Appa!!

Saumya said...

Well.....this lot seems to be missing the Tantex lot, so here goes......

Ananthasayanam's loving wife, Visalakshi, hated folding clothes. It was her most detestable task. In the initial years, she had been so slip-shod at it, that her mother-in-law had danced in glee, for it was the only thing she could criticize her on.

When the clothes were washed, Ananthasayanam's Tantex banians were always inside-out, and Visa in her distaste for the chore folded them as they were! Everyday, Ananthu would flip them inside-out again and wear it.

Somewhere down the line, Visa decided to clean the wardrobe, and folding clothes neatly equalled a neat wardrobe. So, she started tending to that chore too with care. The tantex banians were now folded right. But old habits die hard, and Ananthasayanam still flipped his banian inside-out before wearing them! He now wore them the wrong side out all the time. It has been 14 long years, and he still does the same. Sigh!

Anonymous said...

Padmanabha Shastrigal's wife died during childbirth with an Auvaiyar hymn on her lips, leaving behind identical twins. In her memory, he named them Ananthasayanam and Aaathichoodisayanam.

25 year old IIMB-educated Ananthasayanam became the factory manager at Vyasarpadi Tantex, and his 25 year old Papanasam Polytechnic passout twin brother Aaathichoodisayanam dug holes to plant the giant Tantex hoardings on the roadside junctions. Both of them took the same passenger train to work, albeit at different times - Aaathichoodisayanam at 5am and Ananthasayanam at 8:30am.

When the train stopped briefly at Avadi station, Ananthasayanam's eyes met directly with the railway platform sundal seller Valarmadhi's eyes. At that exact moment, the song sa sa sa suppose unnai kadalithu played on Valarmadhi's transistor radio. Since Tamil panpaadu dictates that abhaya kural must not be ignored, Valarmadhi desperately looked for a signal from Ananthasayanam, something that would indicate where they would meet next time. In response, since the train station atmosphere was rather loud, Ananthasayanam unbuttoned his shirt quickly and pointed fervently to his Tantex vest, to indicate that he was the Tantex branch manager and she should come down to the Tantex factory to see him. Then the train left the station.

But Valarmadhi was illiterate, and she interpreted the signal to mean Ananthasayanam would be waiting for her near the giant Tantex vest and Tantex brief hoarding two furlongs from the train station. She immidiately rolled her sundal cart out to the hoarding, where she found Aathichoodisayanam digging a deeper hole since the recent puyal had left the Tantex hoarding rather shaky.

Aathichoodisayanam's eyes directly met with Valarmadhi's eyes, and at that exact moment theendai mei theendai, thondai nee thondai began to play on the transistor radio. Aathichoodisayanam saw it as a divine signal from above, so he untied his aranakayir and tied it around Valarmadhi as a thali kayir.

Aathichoodisayanam and Valarmadhi have been happily married ever since, for the past 14 years. But for the same 14 years, Ananthasayanam has remained a steadfast bachelor. He has never been able to get Valarmadhi out of his mind.

Today, at age 39, bachelor Ananthasayanam is auditioning models for the new Tantex bra and Tantex panties advertisement. In the line of hopefuls,
Ananthasayanam spots a familiar face. Is that Valarmadhi ? Yes! No!! How could it be ? Actually, she is Valarmadhi's long lost twin sister Vettimadhi, who was lost in the puyal that dislodged the Tantex hoarding 14 years ago.

Ananthasayanam advanced with newfound confidence towards Vettimadhi. Will he get it right this time ?

The Kid said...

Apologies to people who do not know Ramayana.

It had been 14 years.

I, Sita, was born on a lotus, was the princess of a great land, the avatar of Lakshmi - Goddess of prosperity. Married to the most handsome and brave Rama. Rama himself the avatar of Ananthasayanam. Ohh! my Vishnu.

I was with you, my love, when you decided to leave the palace, to live in the woods. I learned to cook, to cook with whatever we could find in the forest. I learned the ways of life in the wild. There were demons, wild animals, but my Ram and Lakshman were there to save me. I worshipped you my Lord, everyday! I did not ask anything of you, except to be with you.

Save Ravana, he always wanted me, but he wanted to change my mind before he even touched me. But I never gave up hope, I always believed in you my darling. I knew you will come and save me. When Veer Hanuman gave me your ring in Ravana's garden, I swear I saw your face in that.

After the war was over, I was tired. Tired to be kidnapped and threatened by evil demons on a daily basis. I wanted to be with you forever from now. Just have a normal life.

But still you doubted me, didnt you? You wanted me to prove my chastity? Didnt you?

It's been 14 years my Lord. 14 long years in hell. But will my Ananthasayanam ever get it right?

Anonymous said...

BVPM --baby vaijayanti puppy manohar....that was absolutely brilliant!!

tantex is becoming boring i say!! make it jockey or anand banian jattigal.

Anonymous said...

Just thought I should share here that thanks to all this free advertising, the Telugu Association of North Texas (TANTEX) has placed a bulk order for Tantex banians, briefs, bras and panties.

I had been chasing this account for 14 years without success. Finally..

Vazhga Chockalingam ii, vazhga calm & serene, Vazhga Tantex!

Anonymous said...

Second attempt, trying to cater to S´s request:

Padmanabha Sastrigal stared at his son´s email. He was in love. He wanted to marry Subhadra, the daughter of Anand Jattigal.

“Sastrigalum, Jattigaluma? Moodana Irukkiye?” he wrote to his son Ananthasayanam.

When he got the mail, Ananthasayanam sighed. He had been trying to convince his father about one girl or the other for 14 years. When would he ever get it right?

Oldbutgold said...

Anathansayanam “Sir” was ready to begin the class….

Yes. It was a school legend, that Ananthasayanam “Sir” in his 14 years as Computer Science teacher had never managed to say Floppy Disk. It was always “Ploffy”.


Class was about to begin.

“Childreeeeen…..Take out your Floppy…….”

For a split second, there was complete silence in the class.

Was this the day he was going to finally get it right? Would Anathansayanam “Sir” actually say the words “Floppy Disk” right for the first time in living memory? Without realizing it, the entire class held its breath.


There was a muffled giggle followed by a few titters.

Normal chatter resumed.

Anonymous said...

He had written the IIT/JEE exam for 13 years and not gotten anywhere.
But Ananthasayanam was determined!! Now with greying hair and thicker glasses...
Worse, even his son had gotten through, albeit it took him 2.

Even Rama was banished to the forest for just 14 years, he thinks..
It's been 14 years. But will Ananthasayanam ever get it right?